Thursday, May 08, 2008

Cerita Mat Lie dan Cerita Telepathy

Semalam pagi sebelum ke site meeting, seperti biasa aku ke toilet dulu. Paksa diri. Sebab tak rela nak menumpang kat site toilet nanti. Yuks.

Tiba-tiba aku nampak seekor Mat Lie tengah dok skodeng ke aku kat celah-celah pintu.

Mat Lie as in 'Lipas' daa... bukan Adeli ka, Rosli ka.

Ada dua serangga aku paling menci dalam dunia ni ~ MakcikgeMok (nyamuk) dengan Mat Lie (lipas). Anti anTI ANTI!!!

Apa lagi, sebelum Mat Lie tu susup zup zup zap ke aku (aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee geliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii), baik aku pukul dengan kasut aku dulu.

Pelan-pelan aku buka kasut, aim baik dekat tepi pintu tu, kumat-kumat baca doa "Jangan la dia tercampak ke aku jangan la dia tercampak ke aku", and "kelePAKKK!!!" terus Mat Lie jatuh terpelanting menghala ke aku tapi jatuh ke lantai. Termelompat akak ke belakang. Pasti buruk rupa akak masa tu.

Tiga batang kaki dia terpelanting masuk ke tempat ruang mandi alik kanan, satu lagi bawah sink alik kiri, dia pulak terbalik turned turtle kat tengah-tengah dunia. Perut hancur. Tapi, sesungut duk melibas-libas lagi.

Ish.

Ini betul-betul mengingatkan aku cerita Green Mile... masa polis yang jahat tu, Percy, nak buat jahat ke the death-row guy nama Delacroix (Del). Waktu Del's execution time, Percy sabotaged the execution by putting a dry sponge instead of a wet one on Del's head before letak the electrocution cap tu, and Del ended-up burnt in a long tortured death on The Chair instead of a quick one.

Ada babak when the switch-person tanya Tom Hanks if nak matikan arus elektrik ke tak sebab kesian tengok Del kena siksa tapi Tom Hanks kata jangan sebab takkan nak berhenti masa Del tengah nyawa-nyawa ikan and then basahkan sponge and then continue switching on the electric, kan? So, they just had to continue with the execution even though the outcome went really bad.

That was what I was thinking when I saw Mat Lie's sesungut melibas-libas lagi.. like, screaming in pain at me, begging me to end his life quick and painless.

Arrrrgh. I just cannot let myself katok Mat Lie lagi lah.... entah kenapa, tak sampai hati nak katok dia betul-betul right at his face.

Biasanya kalau aku katok any Mat Lie-s, aku katok kaw-kaw and depa mati dan-dan tu jugak. Mat Lie kali ni, aku tersalah katok lah plak... ish.

Aku pun cepat-cepat do my business, and got out of the toilet, and went for the site meeting.

When I got back some 5 hourse later and went to the office toilet, and aisemen.... Mat Lie was still there, tiga batang kaki still tempat ruang mandi alik kanan, satu lagi still kat bawah sink alik kiri, and worse, sesungut still duk melibas-libas lagi daa!!!

Green Mile moment I tell you.

And I still tak sampai hati nak katok dia betul-betul right at his face.

So, aku pun cepat-cepat do my business and got out of the toilet. Tapi sampai habis kerja naik tren had dinner masuk ke rumah aku duk terpikiaq sesungut Mat Lie.

I could've just smacked him again, hard and dead, but I didn't. Why leh?

Have I gone too..... soft, with Mat Lie-s???

***

Last weekend was also my Tele-pathetic Moment.

On Saturday night, tiba-tiba aku terasa nak makan brownies Ahy. Aku ingat nak sms Ahy minta tolong dia buatkan, tapi aku terlupa.

Aaaanyhooos, on Sunday pula, tengah aku practise main guitar lagu Alanis Morissette 'Simple Together', tiba-tiba aku teringatkan Celi. I said to myself, am gonna try perfecting this song on the guitar and record this and then kasi Celi dengar, mesti best.

Tiba-tiba Celi missed call aku dari Bangi. Aiiiiiek??? *Twilight Zone cue* I know!!!!

Rupanya she was in great distress, teresak-esak di hujung talian. Nak nangis aku dengar adik aku esak-esak gitu. So after tenangkan dia, aku ajak dia singgah rumah aku dulu before dia balik Shah Alam. Last dia datang pun masa birthday Umi last year June, kot. That long my baby sis tak lepak dengan aku kat rumah aku. Punya la lama. Bukannya dia tak nak datang, tapi mana nak sempat singgah kalau lepas balik Bangi every weekend dia kena terus balik ke Shah Alam tanpa boleh singgah memana.

This time, special case sket. Umi Ayah izinkan dia menyimpang ke rumah aku. Yeayyyy.

Aku pun dengan ribut topan kemas belen-belen yang aku tak kemas.... even Labu Labi pun aku pastikan tak berapa busuk. Hahaha.

Bila Celi datang, guess dia bawak apa dari Bangi.... BROWNIES!!!!! Umi bekalkan aku Brownies yang Ahy buatkan untuk kakak Celi dia. *Twilight Zone cue again* I know, cool huh!!!!

Satu tupperware ni, aku makan sorang aje. Abang Zul tak makan kuih-kuih Brownies ni, untuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung akak.

Sedddddddddddap kauuuuuuuuuuu. Apa-apa yang dibuat sendiri with doses of love and affection, memang exra sedap. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau datangnya dari adik sendiri yang masa kecik-keciknya dulu aku yang cebok and ganti lampin dia, mandikan dia, jaga demam dia segala.... yum yum!

And seronok sangat lepak dengan Celi, even though we were just watching TV and had dinner at the sofa!

***

On Monday night, aku and Abang balik Bangi to have dinner dengan ex-classmate Ayah masa di AIM Manila zaman aku umur 7 tahun dulu, Uncle Shordan Poerba from Indonesia. Uncle Shordan came with his wife Aunty Amy for the Network-21 thingee at KLCC (hebat gitew Network 21 neii).

And guess lagi apa Ahy baked for me... croissants with white chocolate filling!!!!! Hulllaallaaaaa.... sedddddddddddap kauuuuuuuuuuu *smack lips*. Memang TAK MUNGKIN dapat dicari di kedai, these croissants with white chocolate filling!
Bertuaaaaaaaah aku ada adik-adik yang caiyangkan aku. Now, tak sabar nak Udi balik dari UK... we will all be four of us again, and boleh kita jenjalan lagi, ok???

Mwaks!

f~

15 comments:

F manchester said...

Lipas-my GOD your writing is good... I could feel the pain of the lipas... Itu sebenarnye nak remind kan kita makhluk yg tak berdosa pun mati dengan sangat pain- apa entah lagi kita.

Brownies, croisonts & all things good on this earth- I so envy you!!!

drbubbles said...

Eeee bestnya!! ( I mean the croissants not the lipas)

Roti Kacang Merah said...

kak ilush
yup, with so so many deaths surrounding us the past years..... buat hati betul insaf. tapi perbuatan masih nampak macam tak insaf, heh heh.

You envy me??? ish, I ni laaaaaagi envy you, tau!!!

Roti Kacang Merah said...

doc bubbles
jangan jelessss! (I meant the white choc croissants too, not pukul the Mat Lie!*grins*)

muna said...

suruh laa ahy bukak bakery plak. meleleh air liur tengok brownies tuh, hehe

Ummi said...

Oo la la.. i got to taste that brownies tu.. ahy datang my house that nite..my anaks said cedap abang fahy buat..

i didn't know that fahy left quite a good remembrance for Ilan, my youngest. One day I was telling him in the car that billion is more than million. he answered "yes, billion got 9 zeros". he amazed me for a 7 year old. i'm sure he didn't learn that in school, and i didn't teach him. and i asked where did he learn that. he said " abang fahy ajar ilan".. so sweet of ahy.

Roti Kacang Merah said...

muna
cita-cita dia memang nak buka DIY shop with cafe and wi-fi..and bakery kat cafe tu suma dia buat. dah siap ada nama, pun! cuba pi website dia! ;-D

Roti Kacang Merah said...

ummi
alll my adik-adik memang semuuuuaaaaaaaaaaa sukakan budak-budak. glad my bro left an unforgettable mark with ilan! :-D hey one day all my adik beradik must do a gathering at your place lah, ek? *grins*

Amy said...

Alahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Kalau Amy tak kenal Zul 7 tahun dulu, mesti Amy dah ngedeng2 dgn kak Lin nak ngurat Ahy nih (mak ai statement!).. keh keh gurau je Ahy ye. Bertuahnya saper dpt jadik bini dia Kak Lin, pandai dan rajin ok? *dok tringat cookies Ahy*
Oh kak...I hate lipas too, especially bau dia..paling tak tahan yg jenis terbang tu..Selagi tak confirm dia mati lepas Amy spray tu, Amy takkan tido. Hahahha..kalau Amy spray pastu dia pening2 kuar dari bilik Amy, Amy tido tak lena sbb takut dia masuk balik bilik...hehehhe. Psycho. Zul pun cakap Amy psycho :)

Anonymous said...

hehehehe... lawak la crite mat lie tu kak lin... watpe nk kena kesian kat makhluk yg mmg skali branak masya Allah million trillion? hehehe. bkn la nk jadi kejam. benda reasonable kan? tp mmg la haku geli btl tgk lepa. kalu kat umah sewa tu dgr celi jerit ala ala mak lampir tu perkara biasa dah. aklin pon tau kan pitch celi cemane. hehehe.

tenchu aklin comfortkan celi mlm ari tu... celi envy dgn sume adik bradik celi. hehehehe. dgn ahy pon dia x byk ckp dah. tenchu ahy sbb tlg watkan memcm mknan. x mcm anak no 2 sorg neh. haram x tau la tau apa tua2 neh. hehehehe.

tenchu tenchu sumeeee... c u 2nite.... muahs muahs!!

Roti Kacang Merah said...

amy
haaa itu lah. siapa laaaaah bini Ahy nanti, buleh ke pompuan tu nanti catch-up dengan skill Ahy, haha

yeaaa yeaaa kak lin pung tak tahan dengan bau AND taik lipas!!! cakap dengan your Zul, Amy si Psycho Lipas is not alone!!!! *waves to Zul Amy*

Roti Kacang Merah said...

kak teli
ya Allah dapat aku bayangkan jerit Mak Ponti kak celi bila kena kejar lipas, hahaha

alah nak envy apa tah ~ SEMUA adik-adik kak lin ada kelebihan tersendiri, tau. In fact, Kak Lin tak rasa I could actually live without any of you three! Kena YAKIN aje yang bahagian kita yang kita tunggu-tunggu dan nanti-nanti PASTI akan tiba juga, InsyaAllah!!!

Baby_D said...

kak lin, my 2 adik ipar pompuan pon takut lipas.. at least kak lin berani nak pukul lipas tu... dorang pulak kalau nampak lipas.. menjerit macam nak kena rog**... pastu lari lintang pukang... hahahahha....
baru semalam ada insiden kat lam bilik mandi...syok2 dengar adik ipar yg sorang tu nyanyi sambil mandi manda...tiba2 menjerit... ingatkan ada orang ngintai ker.. which is impossible sebab tingkap bilik mandi tu tinggi... at 1st floor... rupa2nyer ada lipas terbang2 lam bilik mandi... syok dengar dia nyanyi kot... hahahaaha...

Baby_D said...

one more thing... kak lin.. mintak resepi croissants ngan adik kak lin boleh tak?

Roti Kacang Merah said...

baby D
tu la my sister pun kalau nampak lipas dia punya jerit punyala nyaring mak langsuyar pun sure-sure lari punya.

haa nanti kak lin bitau ahy. budak tu payah sket kalau nak soh email apa-apa.

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