Thursday, May 31, 2007

To Whom It May Concern

You know,

...the thing about my husband is that, he's a very very laid back person, I bet you none of his comrades even know about his family. He's the most peaceful person I know (apart from masa Demo la kan, heh heh), sungguh tak suka nak attack orang personally, cucuk tikam belakang, dan suka memerhati aje tanpa masuk campur (yes, SO very unlike me now, innit? haha).

Sometimes when I read about this politician&friend and that friend tak member-member (not in good terms), then I'd find myself asking Abang..."Hey, I never knew they are not really in good terms with each other... but how come you rapat dengan depa semua?". Abang's answer would always be, "Itu antara diorang. Nothing to do with me, what. I've no interest to kejar kepentingan apa-apa."

THAT just says it all.

My husband may look like he's got some barrier or wall infront of him, but truth be told, he almost tak memilih kawan at all. Orang je suka nak bermusuh dengan dia.

UNLESS, of courselah, Si Hidung Besar, Si Bapa Mertua, Si Bibir Merah, Si Anak Menantu, Si Tua Bangka serta Si Kroni-kroni. Understandably, he doesn't find any reason to even shake their hands sebagai tanda persahabatan dan ingatan, kan? heh heh

I'm actually not feeling well. I dreamt of something last night, but woke up at 4am to a really terrible headache that made me sleepless. I'm on M.C.

But Abang was upset that I actually dropped a comment on the poison-entry blog yesterday. Like I was betraying his trust. Which admittedly, I kinda did, didn't I.

So here I am right now, kat cc by the pool.

But hey, you know, like they say, "Behind Every Great Man, There Stands A Great Woman".

Maybe I'm not that great a woman. But I may not just stand behind this Great Man all the time. This is a modern world, maah. Occasionally this woman may want to stand infront of the Great Man to help him dodge bullets, so that the Great Man could move on further, even at the price of others thinking that the Great Man is just using this woman. Padahal it is sooooooo not the case.

I speak for myself, I bangun for myself. I have my stand. NONE can make me speak-up or not speak-up for anybody, not even my own husband for that matter.

So, if I choose to speak-up for my husband, it is my own calling and doing, not my husband's asking.

I was once a pejuang too, just so you know.

Ok, nak naik atas balik, nak rest. My head is spinning like crazy. God my hormones are getting crazier...

f~

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Politik Beradab

I read Amy’s entry on office politics, and I think I had purposely made meself an enemy (yang tak da kena-mengena dengan aku though, haha) this afternoon.

I was browsing through some blogs this noon, including some who have links to PKR, and I stumbled across this one chap’s poison-pen entry about my husband, ranting about my husband’s credibility as the Ketua Pengarang of Suara Keadilan, of which, on the surface sounded true but happen not without basis and reasons that only orang-orang dalaman sahaja yang tahu.

Jadi, apabila seseorang menulis sesuatu tanpa mengetahui hujung-pangkalnya, butir-butirnya bunyi seperti busuk, hanyir dan sangat bodoh sekali. He definitely was humiliating himself infront of Abang’s comrades, IF any of Abang’s friends read his blog la eventhough he's apparently quite an active character in any conventions and meetings and gatherings.

Macam seolah-olah dia dibayar to jatuhkan Abang oleh budak hingusan yang lain je.

I told Abang about the post, Abang just mockingly laughed about it. Dia kata, ish, tak payah percaya lah cakap dia. Lain la kalau post ni keluar kat blog Tian ke, Anwar sendiri ke.

And Abang made me promise not to link it or even to post any comment on it.

I said I would not link the entry, but just kept quiet about the commenting part, coz I just did before that.

Abang’s always a peacemaker. Tak suka nak “gocoh”. Where as aku, dah la sebagai seorang isteri, takkan nak biarkan si suami dituduh sembarangan??? Ish, I don’t think I married Abang to just sit still and numb about lies being tossed at his way.

And so, I dropped a comment. A very long one at that. No, there wasn’t any harsh words, just some kenyataan pedas je. Like,

"En. F, saudara sebagai BEKAS journalist, seharusnya lebih tegar dan tahu tentang prinsip TRUE JOURNALISM yang mengkehendaki anda mengesahkan berita ini sebelum menyiarkan.

And you even got the name
(of Abang’s staff) in the entry wrong, to prove a point.”

I'm really riled up and bengang sebab budak macam ni lah yang jadi ahli exco tah hapa-apa badan. Pembawa fitnah betul. Ada sakit A.D.D agaknya… Attention Deficit Disorder.

He just needs love. But don’t think he deserves any.

Oh I REALLY hope to meet him at today's function at the Chinese Assembly Hall. Nak tengok sendiri dia sedar ke tak yang dia sebenarnya tidaklah disukai ramai sangat.

Ey, this reminds me of another separate incident. A neighbourly incident.

One day, sometime around earlier last year, I bumped into one nice elderly lady with her grandkids in the condo’s lift. Rupa-rupanya she’s the mother to my neighbour kat atas, and this auntie lives in Kajang. She was very friendly mulut macam bertih jagung, very modern, kindalike pretty much educated and quite well-to-do la.

Maybe she thot I was equally friendly and knowing that aku keja kat mana, beriya-iya dia nak jumpa coz she said one of her kids ada cuba applied to where I work. And so she took my phone number.

Aiyoh, dia call aku so persistently, trying to make an appointment with me sebab dia kena drive from Kajang to where I live or work and so dia kena arrange her&her husband's itinerary. Rasa macam lain macam, tau, kalau ada orang tua stranger beriya-iya nak hang-out dengan kita. At one time she became a lil bit too pushy that it became so uncomfortable.

After a few times of hits-and-misses, finally she and hubby, a very educated Uncle it seems, datang menziarah. I prepared them tea and kuih-muih coz it was after dinner time.

Borak punya borak punya borak, and whaddya know… rupanya depa nak jual MLM! Like, WTF, padanla beriya-iya nak jumpa!!!

And soon after, my neighbours a.k.a their son & daughter-in-law (very young couple) came down to join. And the “talk” continued.

God, like selling religion, you know??? Forcing us to embrace it, with promises of a very happy ending in Heaven.

It got into one bloody annoying point when the Aunty got a phonecall from someone about her business tapi tak reti nak kata she’ll call back, and then menjerit-jerit melayan the call for a good 15 minutes at our living room, forcing uncle to stop lecturing about their product.

Abang being Abang ~ very soft-hearted to orang tua, menghormati and menyayangi, hanya mampu senyum and angguk angguk, "hmm… ya… ya… tapi, tu lah…”, trying his mighty best to brush them off without hurting their feelings.

Lama-lama, since pakcik and makcik ni tak faham-faham jugak, aku pun celah, depan-depan anak menantu depa…

“Sorry lah aunty, uncle. With all due respect to my husband yang sangat-sangat baik hati and lembut hati ni, I know that he’s really trying hard at his level best to tell you that we’re not interested at all in this but yet auntie and uncle macam tak faham-faham, lah.

Ginilah. Aunty, I’m really disappointed coz I really thot you were sincere to berkenalan dengan jiran anak you dan kami sangat berbesar hati that you persistently nak berkenalan dengan kami. But, you know, if only I know that you’ve got other ulterior motifs, I would’ve said no to your coming.”


So there.

Terbeliak mata Abang dengar aku cakap macam tu. But, someone has to do the dirty job kan? I think, both aunty and uncle pun tak sangka aku akan cakap macam tu. His son my jiran macam pandang aku blank; the wife tunduk-tunduk sebab aku tembak gitu.

All terdiam. And then terus tukar topik. And after knowing who Abang actually is, depa malu malu sipu sipu mintak diri and ciao.

Aku sungguh tak suka tetamu yang sangat kurang adab, maka patut diberitahu depan muka supaya mereka belajar.

And what happened to them aunty&uncle lepas-lepas tu? Occasionally ada la terjumpa kat lif ka, kat kedai makan ka. Abang & I buat peramah macam biasa, but they became cold and dok layang. Ah, tak rugi apa lah kalau dorang tak layan kami. Just proves that we both are more genuine than they both are.

Dan menatang alah MLM ni patut diharamkan je, seriously.

f~

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My Sweet Boundin' Jackalope

I had a pretty difficult late-morning today. Nothing to do with work, but something pretty personal that it hurt my already low-esteem tremendously. It started off from something that's already not good for my soul, and then coupled with some supposedly well-intentioned remarks, but accidently turned into a foot-in-the-mouth thing, thrown at my face by someone so very very close.

Aiyoh, hirisan di hati. Of all people to be thinking of that particular situation in such a way... My eyes started welling-up, my mind exploding, racing rapidly in search of a platform to bounce back from the pit I was just thrown into. Cannot menangis cannot menangis cannot menangis, nanti officemates nampak...

I smsed Abang,

Are u bz 2day?? I really really nd 2 get away karang, pi tgk mvies or lepak kat mph or whtever,pls pls pls. Tak tahan lah. And cannot talk y now,nanti org dgr... :'(

And then Abang suruh masuk YM, and I told him what happened in the YM, my tears meleleh and meleleh and meleleh...

Abang, as always, setiaaaaaaaaaaa mendengar dan memujuk, saying things I want to hear.

At one point, Abang pujuk:

zzunar (5/29/2007 11:21:45 AM): yang penting "i love you the way you are"

... and that just melt my heart away and stopped the crying a wee bit *sniff*

And to hell with the world, kan 'Bang?

Which made me remember one Pixar's "Boundin'", about a lamb who loses his lustrous wool to shearers, and with that, loses his pride too. But a wise jackalope teaches the moping lamb that it is what's inside that'll help him rebound from life's troubles.

Which is also my sister Sherli's favourite anthem.


"...Now sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down,
When you find that you’re down well just look around:
You still got a body, good legs and fine feet,
Get your head in the right place and hey, you’re complete!

“Now as for the dancin’, you can do more,
You can reach great heights, in fact you can soar.
You just get a leg up and ya slap it on down,
And you’ll find you’re up in what’s called a bound.

Bound, bound, and rebound.
Bound and you’re up right next to the sky,
And I think you can do it if you give it a try,
First get a leg up, slap it on down…”

So every year, along about May,
They’d load him up and they’d haul him away,
And they’d shave him and dump him all naked and bare.

He learned to live with it, he didn’t care,
He’d just bound, bound, bound, and rebound.

Now in this world of ups and downs…
So nice to know there are jackalopes around."


And Syukran Allah, I have my own sweet lovely Jackalope to remind me of deep beauty and true love...

f~

:: full lyrics here.

My Wee, Lil Rump-a-pump

Labi is a Rumpy-Riser Manx Cat, a mixed-breed from Isle Of Man, kat Selat Irish, you.

Tapi nama macam Porn-Star je kan... "Rrrrumpy-Rrrriser", weeeehoooo.

Anyways, characteristics of a Manx Cat, which are all the very the uncanny like Labi, like, oh.my.God.this.is.so.Labi! :-

  • There are various legends that seek to explain why the Manx has no tail. In one of them, Noah closed the door of the ark when it began to rain and accidentally cut off the Manx's tail, who'd been playing and almost got left behind. Another legend claims that the Manx is the offspring of a cat and a rabbit which is why it has no tail and rather long hind legs. In addition, they move with more of a hop than a stride, like a rabbit.

  • The hind legs of a Manx are longer than the front legs, creating a continuous arch from shoulders to rump giving the cat a rounded appearance.

  • The Manx breed is a highly intelligent cat breed, and as such is extremely playful.

  • Manx behavior can seem bizarre, and very reminiscent of dogs; for example, some Manx cats will fetch small objects that are thrown.

  • They will walk well on leashes, enjoy going outdoors and riding in cars.

  • It is considered a social feline, and the breed loves humans, they need a lot of attention and leaving one alone for too long can be cruel. This attribute makes them an ideal breed for families with young children and people who prefer a companion.

  • A manx tends to bond with its human family.

  • Although not as trainable as dogs, Manx cats can learn simple commands.

  • They take great joy in attempting to outsmart people.

  • They may be sneaky and stubborn at times. Other cat breeds that share similar personality traits are Bengal and Ocicat.

  • If there are multiple Manx cats in a household, an owner might notice that they chase each other frequently; they'll also chase humans or other pets who are often displeased about being chased. This is common behaviour for Manx cats; they like to chase anything, be it an animal or leaf caught in the wind.

  • Their 'meow' may resemble a long, monotonous grunt or rapid chirping. Some seem to have extensive talents for communicating including anything from singing; heaving great sighs of irritation; glaring; yowling; long strange segmented meow/grunt/gurgle/squeaks; and specific meows for specific things.

  • Manx cats may also be very quiet, and most have very soft purrs.

  • Age is not an important factor unless you adopt a kitten that is too young and has not received enough nurturing from its mother. A baby Manx receives its best education in the "catly arts" from its mother, not from you.

  • Some owners have suggested that Manx babies need to be sold with warning labels attached. The owners know firsthand that love for the Manx can be contagious. Many times, for example, a wife drags a disinterested husband along to a cattery to see a litter of Manx kittens. The husband waits politely, obviously bored, while his wife selects a kitten. A week or two later, the Manx breeder is amused when the wife calls to complain that the husband has been charmed by the beguiling Manx kitten, and now the wife needs another kitten so she can have one too! (The Manx has been called, apparently correctly, the Man's cat that women love.) As a result, few Manx-owning households contain only one Manx.

  • The Manx kitten's fascination with water has surprised many a new owner who has found his or her little friend sitting in a bathtub or sink with water spray bouncing off its fur as though the kitten were meant to be a tub toy. Don't let this mislead you to believe, however, that your Manx will enjoy a bath. Like children who beg to play in the rain but must be forced to take baths, your little Manx will not have the same feeling about its bath water that it does about your bath water!

  • Yet this cat, with its lovely eyes, its wide-set ears and its serene, intelligent look, is capable of extreme gentleness and will serve as a loving companion to young and old alike.

  • The Manx is both a pleasure to the eye and a comfort to the soul. What else could you ask of a companion animal?

    My wee, lil Rump-a-pump

    All quoted from:
    1. Wikipedia
    2. Gale Thomas-Goodman of The Manx Breed

    f~

    Sunday, May 27, 2007

    My P Story

    The first time I got my P(eriod), I was 11, my mom just gave birth to my youngest bro the day before, which was a Christmas Day, and she was thus at the hospital.

    I found out about it while watching some Christmas specials on the then SBC (Singapore Broadcasting Corporation) channels ~ I had a bad cough since a week before, and I felt something uncomfy keluar from down there everytime I coughed. I went to check in the toilet, and to my horror, ada bloodstain.

    Aiyok aiyok aiyok, what was I supposed to do???!!! I thought.

    I knew what the P was all about, but being the first of the firsts (the first child and first grand-daughter), I did not have any point of reference at the time! I was very very ill-prepared ~ physically and mentally. Ye la sapa boleh agak dapat P by 11 years of age, kan? Dah la mak aku kat hospital. I only had my dad, my gramps and my maid at home at the time, and being very segan with the situation, I didn't approach my maid about it (lagipun, maid & I selalu gaduh, so, aku sombong ar tak moh cakap dengan dia).

    So, I braved up telling Dad instead. "Ayah, I think I got the P lah". Quite taken aback with the news, Ayah flustered for a wee while, and then answered, "Oh ye ke? Dah, pi siap2 cepat nak lawat Umi kat hospital ni."

    Aiyoh. Laidat only aa?

    I was like... Howla? Howla?

    My mind spins ~ apa nak buat ni apa nak buat ni. And then I remembered not so long time ago, I had an older cousin (a girl) staying over at my house. I saw her bringing into the toilet with her a couple of pieces of newspaper and when I asked her what was it for, she told me, in sign-language, kinda meant like it was for her P.

    Like, how was I supposed to know it was for bungkus pad lepas cuci pad, kan? She was deaf-mute, you see. Hence the sign-language.

    So, upon remembering that, I took some papers and yes, lipat lipat lipat and used that as my pad! "Nanti sampai hospital nak beritahu Umi," I said to myself.

    Kesian, kan? Folded newspaper as my sanitary pad. Imagine that.

    Hell it was uncomfy. I kept thinking, macam mana la Kak Ani (the deaf-mute cousin) boleh tahan pakai newspapers lah wei.

    Anyway, I got ready, making my darndest sure all the time that the ends of the folded newspaper did not stick out to show off some bumps underneath my skirt, and off I went to visit my mum. For some reason, I didn't go with my dad but with my gramps instead. So, in the car, I decided to tell gramps... desperately in need of help, ni!

    "Ba, Ma, Alin rasa Alin dapat haid..."

    They went quiet.

    But suddenly Ba happily chirped, "Haaa??? Alin dapat haid??? Bagus laaa dapat haid girl kat sekolah!!! Belajar sungguh-sungguh, ya?"

    I was like, whattaaaa???

    And then I realised what my gramps thought ~ I got to become a "Head Girl/Head Prefect" rather than "dapat Haid (period)". Aiiiiyyyyooooohhhhh!!! Imagine my frustration la, aiiiiyohhhh! But I just kept quiet. My mind had gone numb, man. Two rejections in less than an hour, no 11-year old could take that!

    Lagipun, I'm their first cucu perempuan. I'm sure they didn't expect I got the P at the age of 11, kan?

    But soon when we reached the hospital, after salam cium Umi and coo-coo my new yet-to-be-named baby bro, I whispered to Umi the same thing I told my Ba and Ma. Umi beamed and smiled broadly, told my nenek wide-eyed, "Waaaaah Ma, Alin dah besaaaaar", and then baru Ba & Ma realised what the "head/haid" in the car actually meant!!!

    And when they knew I had kertas suratkhabar as my temp sanitary pad, of course they all laughed their heads off, naturally. And from that onwards, I, Rotikacangmerah, became a legend among my aunties and uncles, thank you very much.

    From that on too, Umi and all my aunts and uncles dah ajar about the P and sediakan pad to their daughters (including my baby sister) by age of 9 and 10!

    "So that tak la jadi macam Kak Lin, jadi Head Girl tapi pakai suratkhabar! Ha ha ha ha!". Boleh.

    But at least one thing for sure, I've my baby brother Udi to gauge the age of my reaching puberty... his birthday is on Christmas Day of 1984, and my IAmWoman Birthday’s the day after. *grins*

    f~

    Saturday, May 26, 2007

    McDreaming

    "pindah pjbt sbb tnh runtuh kliling pjbt,gaduh dgn intn n nkmah coz x ambilkn brg2,trpaksa tidur bwh loteng n bwt keja,tlg ukur2 bilik org 4 perabot,celi ada n bising psl basuh rmbut,kembn bsuh rmbut kt dlm bilik yg ada mtg dgn en.m*s,raymnd etc. N citer ke m*s pasal bts segala n thn bilas dpn2 org.depa mtg dlm samar2,balik bilik ada umi n labi almst kering fr dmandikan,ada pageant org tgh sanggul2 n jmpa linda mekapkan jue"

    Like, wtf, right? I came across this in my sms draft.

    Totally forgotten about this, one of those vivid dreams I been had the past months. This dream however, was, maybe, 3 mths ago?

    I usually have Labi in my dreams. So sweet, kan? Sampai ke mimpi Kak Lin dia nak temankan Kak Lin. Mwah!

    Intan and Nekmah are two of our Penolong Pegawai Perancang in the office, two colleageus yang sangat-sangat rajin dan efficient bila buat kerja.

    En.M*s is the Timbalan Pengarah Bahagian Peperiksaan (or smnthn to that effect); Raymond is... I think, a senior engineer.

    And what "bts" means is beyond me.

    Why tiba-tiba ada beauty pageant is also beyond me.

    Linda? She's a very very old friend masa MRSMJasin. The last I saw here was when I was 18 kot, we went to her house in Melaka. Now, why she was suddenly in my dreams was also beyond me.

    Jue is also from MRSMJasin. The last I met her was at the Jasin Alumni last January. Thinking about it, I may have dreamt of her being made-up because of her icon on the YM ~ she uses her studio-made photos looking so demure and lovely, macam Camelia gitu, no joke.

    I think I may start my book of dreams. Maybe I could get some inspiration from it, or warnings off it... who knows?

    Now that again reminds me of a dream I once dreamed a couple of weeks before I met Abang, maybe, early January 2005.

    I dreamt that I put on a pair of huge anting-anting but tercabut sebelah belah kiri, and then in the same dream I ate my cat Adi hidup-hidup macam Adi tu gula-gula tapi Adi pandaaaang je aku like as if he allowed me to eat him and yet it didn't seem to be hurting him at all.

    Bangun je pagi tu lepas Subuh, aku terus sms my friend who has a Tafsiran Mimpi Di Dalam Islam book and told her about my dreams. She said the book didn't detailed out that much, but mentioned "kalau anting-anting dipakai oleh seorang wanita membawa maksud kebaikan, and makan daging kucing bermaksud akan datang harta benda".

    And soon after that, I met Abang after shutting him away for 5 years.

    So much about orang kata kalau mimpi ular tandanya nak kawin, huh? heh heh.

    Hmm.

    Abang tak jadi pi Seremban today. He's still feeling unwell.

    It's half four, and I feel like going for a dip at the pool. I hope by late evening, Abang sempat sihat for us to go to Cik Su's together. 'Coz in all honesty, it's getting a lil bit unnerving to be going to my family gatherings alone, with valid reasons (not excuses, definitely), yet again. Sigh.

    And, oh, oh, I so love Surprise By Design and the hosts, Rebecca Cole and Robert Verdi. They're both so cool and funny together, they've got chemistry and so compliment each other... I wonder it they're an off set couple too?

    f~

    Friday, May 25, 2007

    Jaded Yaks

    I been on leave since yesterday. Sepatutnya kena balik Kedah on Thursday, coz Abang nak tolong sama-sama sort out in getting a helper for Mak. But on Wednesday night Mak called Abang and told him dia dah dapat helper, orang sekampung juga, Mak sendiri yang tanyakan. And Mak seems to be very pleased with her decision.

    Tapi the lady won’t be living with Mak b'coz she’s married and has a family of her own. And Abang went like, what-thah, kan? The reason nak dapatkan helper is to tolong temankan Mak di rumah, especially at night since Mak totally refuses to stay at her kids' places. So kalau takat datang siang aje... entah lah. Tak pa, tengok je 2,3 bulan ni macam mana. We don't think that kind of arrangment could last that well tapi tengok lah how it'll turn up. If she's happier like that, then we should be too, or at least pretend to be happy with her decision, with fingers crossing behind our backs.

    Anyway, even with the helper-issue kindalike sorted, we still planned on going back to Kedah, like, today. So, yesterday, since I was on leave but Abang had to attend meetings, I vacuumed the house, cuci baju, lipat baju, sort out Abang's work-desk and bills, cuci the bathrooms, lap rumah, even re-colour my hair... all in the name of nak balik kampung today till Sunday and that I won't have my weekends to do those things.

    Bangun pagi ni, my pinggang heavy from the back-breaking on-my-knees bathroom-scrubbings semalam (my back kan a bit fragile), Abang announced that he decided not to go back to Kedah coz he's got way too much on his plate... about some issues at the office and also the Kongress PKR at Seremban thing.

    And whaddya know, right after breakfast this morning, Abang had his fortnightly-fever (yes, fortnightly, and sometimes even weekly, tell me about it. I also don't understand how or why that happens) and slept throughout the day. I thought, man, this means it’s the livingroom again for me tonight ~ coz Abang cannot sleep with the ceiling fan or the aircond switched-on when he’s demam. I guess that Guest-room’s 6” mattress is definitely gonna be a fixed fixture in the living room since I’d have to not sleep with Abang whenever he demams and I just hate sleeping in the Guest Room.

    And so I spent my whole day today with The Boys slumping around me and me catching up with last-night's American Idol finale and Lake House on DVD. Oh some interesting off-days or what.

    And esok he has to go the Kongress in Seremban with Abg Zul Noordin. Tomorrow night patutnya ada bbq at Cik Su's in conjunction to my wee cousin's and my gramps' birthdays. I really hope he can make it by then, or he's not too tired to go, 'else he may be facing me grumpy face the whole night Saturday and the whole day Sunday.

    Ughhhhh. Bila laaaaa nak dapat pi a really relaxing and enjoyable holiday sama-sama and alone together, tah. Tiap kali cuti or ambil cuti it's either because of family matters or Abang has to work work work or when things are almost getting there and wham! Abang demam. It's not even two years and I'm already feeling jaded. Pi theaters alone, pi rumah sedara-mara alone, pi family gathering alone, pi swimming alone...

    But that said, most 85% of the other times, I'm never alone and Abang's always there, heh heh heh heh. Just that the things we do together are getting a lil bit mundane... balik-balik movies, jalan-jalan kat Pertama Sogo Jusco Wangsa Maju Carrefour Wangsa Maju, beli DVDs...

    And when I told Abang we need more romance (b'coz, yes, in case you haven't noticed, I am a romantic freak), just like the movies we saw or the blogs or articles I made him read, he dismisses them by saying, "...itukan filem untuk tontonan dan bahan bacaan aja...". Argh. Someone please help shake him up!!!

    Well that just sums it all, how jaded I am right now.

    Oh please don't tell me that this is normal in a marriage life, 'coz of course I know. And of course I know I'm lucky to have Abang who loves me with his life and that at least he's either at work or at home and nowhere else if it's without me or without my knowledge.

    Just that... maybe it's almost that time of the month, and it's weekend nights, I been off for two days for nothing, this tmn3t 1S15 sucks like no end and Abang's already asleep since 9pm, sekian terima kasih.

    f~

    Wednesday, May 23, 2007

    Please Help Baby Nuur Qistina Hayani

    Somehow, since having Labu & Labi around, I have real soft spots for ailing kids and of course, stray cats.

    Aku pi lawat budak-budak HIV kat Rumah Solehah di Bandar Tun Razak dengan Maria tahun lepas, aku balik aku nangis.

    Aku tak boleh lalu wad kanak-kanak, rasa nak lari masuk bilik air dan menangis.

    Aku tengok movies sedih pasal budak-budak, aku menangis.

    Aku tengok iklan di tv pasal the "Relay For Life" walk organised by the National Cancer Society of Malaysia which they used this 6-yr old girl walking alone on the runningtrack, aku sedih dan sedih dan sedih.

    My friend hantar email last week to help a 6-mth old baby, Nuur Qistina Hayani going through chemo at that age for her liver cancer (hepatoblastoma), I couldn't erase her off my mind since then....

    Baby Nuur Qistina Hayani, 28/4/2007 (6 months old)

    What if I were in their shoes??? What if I were in their parents' shoes???

    Na'udzubillaaaaahimindzaaaalik.

    Tapi, we'd always think it would only happen to other people ~ a friend to a friend, and so forth. But we would never know God's real plan for us, kan...?

    For this entry, let's help Baby Qistina... at least, help spread the word.

    What goes around, comes around. Mana lah tahu, esok-esok kalau kita atau anak-anak kita atau anak-anak keluarga kita sakit dan perlukan bantuan badly, mungkin Allah akan mempermudahkan untuk kita pula, kan?

    Allahu a'lam.

    ps:
    also, help set-up school for special kids in Bangi. You may be surprised to know how our system works in that it denies education to a lot of our special kids. Do read here.

    f~

    Awangs & Dins

    Petang semalam, di kala di dalam kereta mengharung jam dalam perjalanan pulang dari kerja….

    Abang dah baca Uban Punya Cerita kat blog Alin?

    Dah. *sengih*

    … and? OK ke tak?

    OK! Cuma Abang ada tertinggal nama, la ~ “Awang Didik”. Cuba teka kenapa nick dia “Awang Didik”.

    Ummm… sebab dia cikgu yang bagus?

    *Abang geleng* Tak.

    Dia yang pertama buka taska kat kampung?

    *Abang geleng lagi* Tak juga.

    Atu?

    Sebab dia rajin bela ayam didik yang katek tu, terus orang panggil dia “Awang Didik”!

    *guffaw guffaw guffaw guffaw sambil aku ketuk-ketuk dashboard kereta*

    “Awang” lagi satu is “Awang Saja”.

    Yang tu kenapa pulak?

    Seingat Abang, sebab dia suka mai rumah orang bila part-part makan free aja… saja-saja suka datang. Tapi kami suma buat lawak, agaknya nama gelaran untuk “Awang” dah habis, jadi bila orang tanya “Awang hat mana satu???”, orang pun jawab “alaaaah, hat Awang saja tu laaaa!”. Jadi terus melekat nama, “Awang Saja”!

    Abang neiiii, tipu, lah!!!

    *guffaw guffaw guffaw guffaw sambil aku ketuk-ketuk dashboard kereta*

    Laaaa, beeeetuuuulllll…. Baru 2,3 tahun lepas dia dah arwah. Dok dekat rumah Moamat hat tepi jalan dekat dengan rumah mak nu!!!

    *senyap seketika… and soon we passed Jalan Chan Sow Lin*

    Haa, masa Abang keja kat kilang besi Li@nYeet ni dulu, Abang ada kongsi rumah dengan budak-budak lain kat Jln Chan Sow Lin 3. Ada sorang kawan Abang ni, orang gelar dia “Din Empat Inci”!!! Hahahahaha!!!

    Haahhhh???? Hahahahahaha naper??? Sebab anunya panjang Empat Inci ke???

    Entah, Abang pun tak pasti. Tapi dia memang small-sized lah. Tapi, tu duluuuuuu. Sekarang Abang pasti gelaran dia dah lain.

    Naper? Apa gelaran dia sekarang?

    Ye lar, la ni kan dah tukaq sistem metrik…mesti orang panggil dia “Din Sepuluh Sentimeter” pulak!!! Hahahahaha!!!

    *guffaw guffaw guffaw guffaw sambil aku ketuk-ketuk dashboard kereta*

    Rossssssak.

    ++ Nama-nama di atas bukan rekaan semata-mata, dan ada kaitan antara yang hidup dan yang mati. Tapi nama-nama tersebut hanya sebagai punca bercerita dan bergurau-senda di antara sepasang suami isteri kala mengharung jam, ya…bukan bertujuan untuk menghina sesiapa! *grins* ++

    f~

    Tuesday, May 22, 2007

    Kempen Letting-Go

    Given the chance that I could contribute ideas to the present arrays of campaigning that we Malaysians already have, I would like to put forward three of my humble suggestions:-

    1. Kempen Menderma Organ.
    - as what I, Rotikacangmerah, support (here).

    2. Kempen Memberi Laluan (branching out from the Kempen Berbudi Bahasa)
    - like, holding the door open for someone regardless of age, sex, status, race or affiliations. And also “kempen memandang jika ada orang lain di belakang anda yang hendak keluar melalui pintu yang sama supaya anda boleh pastikan pintu yang anda lalui itu tidak menghentam muka manusia di belakang anda”, regardless of age, sex, status, race or affiliations too.

    - that when someone in front of you is trying to reverse his/her car, please give way for him/her to finish his business rather than honking from 500m away to inform that you’re about to zoom past from behind.

    - that when someone in front of you is trying to reverse his/her car, please give some space for the event to happen rather than inching your way closer and closer to the reversing car that could end up semua orang tersepit.

    3. Kempen Idola Keluarga
    - that it is very very important that you be the idols of your own kids or siblings. So that in their growing years, when the young ones are learning more about life and in dire need of some sort of validation of their individualities & approval of their decision-makings, it must come from you, someone whom they look up on and could turn to, whom they put high on their pedestals, wishing that they could grow up to be like you and proud to be loved by and associated with you. That they won’t have to look for whatever they’re looking for from some other strangers who may take their vulnerabilities for a ride. I say this ‘coz I know, and I’ve seen, and I’ve been there, and I’ve learnt.

    ***

    Some may wonder what is it with some people (like moi) who have issues about letting go.

    The answer is, I think, that the letting go exercise, in some isolated cases, sometimes still require sound answers for it to be really being let go of.

    Having answers like "Itulah Allah" and listing down the blessings pastinya boleh mententeramkan jiwa, no doubt about that awright. And to forgive and to walk away are of course two of the best acts in order to move on.

    Tapi di sebalik itu, deep down inside, kita masih akan tetap bertanya dan bertanya dan bertanya...

    Like, kenapa some ladies sanggup berpuluh tahun tahan dengan mentally abusive spouses padahal they are way better off without ‘em (I found the answers for this though not really the kind I was expecting it would be. Nevertheless, it helps me to let go and be more receptive of the situation, a whole lot).

    Or, kenapa dia......... ah, this almost-a-decade-long question in my head right now yang hanya Allah, me & hubby sahaja yang tahu of which badly needs answers at the mo dan hanya tuan punya jawapan sahaja yang boleh menjawabnya.

    So, please bear with me, yah, while I'm still battling with this devil inside me? I've prayed, counted my blessings, forgave, walked away whenever I can, all in the name of moving on. But until I could really get the answer(s) that satisfies my soul, I'm still fighting. And with that, I am so so blessed to have Abang as my idol right now, and I pray hard, till forever... *love*

    Aaaamiiin. Allahu a’lam.

    f~

    Monday, May 21, 2007

    Oh My Heart

    Oh
    my heart
    stopped.

    I thought
    I was looking
    at myself

    smiling blissfully
    in that
    white outfit.

    f~

    Mother's Day Cuppies

    Eh, lupa nak promo Siti's cuppies I sent Umi (well, Siti yang dengan baik hati tolong deliver kan!!!) on Mothering Sunday last 13th May. Nah, ini dia...


    Sweeties, kan? Terasa tercabar Arkitek neih! Apa boleh buat, malas is the keyword... hehehe. Tapi, dengan kehadiran orang macam aku ni lah, bisnes macam Siti dan kedai-kedai kek lain boleh mahsyuuuk... tak gitu Siti??? *grins*

    I'm gonna place more orders for June (Fathering Sunday and Umi's Bday) and July (4-in-one celebration: my birthday plus 3 other colleagues')... so, anda, bila lagi??? ;-D

    f~

    Uban Punya Cerita

    Malam tadi, sambil-sambil kelebet uban Abang, I asked him whether he’s always been the most grey-haired in the family (Oh he loves calling himself the George Clooney Kg. Kilang Kecil among his nieces and nephews. Perrrrrrasan, heh).

    He’s not sure. But he remembered in his kampung dulu ada orang nama Mat Uban.

    Sebab dia banyak uban, I presume?

    Maybe. Or mungkin sebab dulu masa muda-muda dia suka sangat pi pekan Pendang.

    Wha..??? Apa kaitan???

    Ye lah, suka pi pekan, orang pun panggil la Mat Urban, terus lekat jadi Mat Uban.

    Kwangggg kwang kwang.

    Dua-dua: *giggle giggle giggle*

    Ada lagi satu kawan Abang, namanya Man Gula. Cuba teka kenapa.

    Mmm, sebab dia suka air atau makanan dia manis-manis? Or, sebab mulut dia manis, suka gula-gula ayat?

    Taaaak, dua-dua salah.

    Abis, naper?

    Sebab masa dulu, setiap kali ada lawan bola kat kampung-kampung atau pekan, dia MESTI ada. Jadi, orang panggil la dia Man Regular. Terus melekat jadi Man Gula! Hahahahaha!

    Tipu la Abang ni!!!

    Laaaaa, betullll!!! Dia ada lagi hidup kat kampung!

    Dua-dua: *giggle giggle giggle*

    Habis, Abang dulu, orang gelar apa?

    Hmm, orang-orang Siam kat kampung Abang panggil Abang sebagai "Soon", sebab depa tak reti sebut huruf "z" dalam "Zun".

    Iyaaa ka???

    Iyyyaaaaa. Sebab itu, dalam hp Abang, Abang save nama Kak Tun as "Seton". Depa bukan pandai sebut "Zaitun". Depa sebut "Seton".

    Dua-dua: *giggle giggle giggle*

    Alin ingat tak Bukit Raya yang kita kena lalu kalau nak balik rumah Mak? Sebenarnya, nama tempat tu ialah "Bukit Raja". Tapi sebab org Siam sebut "j" jadi "y"(and vice versa), terus jadi Bukit Raya.

    Oooo...

    Jadi, bayangkan kalau Penyimpan Mohor Besar Raja-raja tu orang Siam, mesti dia kata, "Saya, selaku Penyimpan Mohor Besar Raya-raya, setelah meneliti haribulan Islam mengikut rukjah, kini mengisytiharkan esok yatuh Hari Raja Aidilfitri..."

    Dua-dua: *giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle*

    Atau, kalau Alin sendiri orang Siam, boleh la kata, "Saya kerya kerayaan. Hari-hari gojang kaki. Huyung bulan, gayi masuk, terus pegi yoli..."

    Abang neiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii melampau la tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

    Dua-dua: *gelak besar gelak besar gelak besar*

    ... and all these started from uban...

    f~

    Friday, May 18, 2007

    Kisah Benar

    Malam tadi, ketika keluar dari kedai Bodee$hoppe Wangsa Maju...


    : Hmm... dah makin mahal lah bedak Alin, bang...

    : Dulu berapa?

    : Dulu RM50 lebih je. Ni dah jadi RM70 lebih.

    : Ye la, harga tepung kan dah naik...


    Kwaaaaaaaaang


    Kwaaaaaang


    Kwaaang.

    f~

    Thursday, May 17, 2007

    Dasar Pendidikan Baru

    Courtesy of Khamisah@Khemy's email

    Hahahaha! Betul, kan?

    Truth be told, am not at all an Akademi Fantasia fan. At the office, aku lah yang paling ceghuk sekali, knowing nothing about the AF students or the activities. I despise the daily Diaries, and no offense but I personally think the AF Debate is an insult to the nation's intellectual.

    We don't get to discuss, debate and argue about any policies that use our money for instance, yet kita sibuk nak bincang&debat whether or not pakai gimik masa AF bagus ke tak. See how triflingly insulting the Debat AF is? No? Ah well.

    And unlike American Idols, I don't suppose any of the sms-$ gets to be channelled for charity causes.

    Or do they?

    Blegh. Whatever.

    f~

    Tuesday, May 15, 2007

    Abang's Day

    Hari ni birthday Abang.

    Last year I ordered&delivered Secret Recipe to his office.

    This year, I ordered cuppies, since cuppies are the thing these days. Thanks to Rotidua's entry on his nephew's birthday, I got to know Siti Hajar and have since ordered Mother's Day cuppies for Umi last Sunday, AND Man U Birthday Cuppies for Abang today...

    ...which Siti had safely delivered to Abang's office half an hour ago!

    Photo courtesy of MMS from Wanti

    Thanks very much Siti, for making the days of my loved ones!!! Love!

    And.... Happy Birthday, Abang!!! Thank you for being the most supportive, loving, patient, my-pillar-of-strength, my-best-friend, very giving, pemurah & thotful husband. You know I couldn't live without you...
    Love you!

    f~

    Monday, May 14, 2007

    Hi, I'm Callie

    Esok deadline my love story with Abang. Arrrrk. Tak sempat buat apa pun lagi. Ish.

    Mujur dah belikan dia present. Bluetooth headset. Sebab aku tak nak jack hp dia rosak.

    Oklah tu, kan? *grins*


    And I am so Callie. Sangat betul.

    f~

    Friday, May 11, 2007

    Barbers and Poles

    Was watching Cinta during lunch hour. Then came that part where Rahim Razali walks into a barbershop for a haircut.

    Have been wondering how barbers and barberpoles become synonymous...


    So, nah, read here. Lepas ni kalau lalu area kedai gunting rambut seberang jalan dengan Coliseum Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman and you see all those spinning poles, you'll know now how they first came about :-).

    f~

    Thursday, May 10, 2007

    RKM Supports...

    RKM Wall, by my bro Farhi

    Planning to organize a blood donation drive for my Unit on one of these lunch breaks.

    Jom?

    Haa? Takut?? Jangan lah takut... tak da rasa apa-apa pun masa proses derma darah. Sakit sikiiiiiiiiiiiit je masa nak masukkan jarum. And it's all in the mind, babe.

    Mana lah tahu, esok-esok kalu kita atau keluarga kita sakit dan perlukan darah badly, mungkin Allah akan mempermudahkan untuk kita pula, kan?

    (To be blunt, derma dara pun lebih sakit, tau ;-P)

    Oh ya, jom juga register untuk Organ Donor? I've been one since 24th April 2004. Can't remember if I paid any fee for the registration. Rasa macam tak perlu. Tapi sekarang, from their online registration, macam perlu bayar sikit lah. For administrative purposes, agaknya. Nanti dapat kad, buleh tayang-tayang, haha.

    So... jom?

    Haa? Takut juga?? Jangan lah takut... even in death, you'll be helping sooooooooo many others to live.

    Mana lah tahu, esok-esok kalu kita atau keluarga kita sakit dan perlukan donor badly, mungkin Allah akan mempermudahkan untuk kita pula, kan?

    Dan jangan lupa inform your family members/loved ones once you're registered. Penting, tu.

    Read first, some:
    And then, register for membership:
    ...OK? :-)

    f~

    Tuesday, May 08, 2007

    World Press Freedom Day Exhibition

    Aiyok aiyok aiyok I am so bloody swamped with work kepala nak pecah badan nak terkurus tapi nak jugak blog nak jugak nak jugak.

    Abang's mini exhibition at The World Press Freedom Day Exhibition at the Annexe@Central Market last Sunday was purdy awroite. I mean, tis been pretty much 10 years since Abang's last major exhibition (the last was a road show with Pekartun, he said), so, a 10-piece exhibit in conjuntion to World Press Freedom Day was done as a platform to possible bigger ones.

    In fact, the presence of one of the sponsors, Sei Hon of Troubadours, and also Abang’s young fan & collector ~ a young, aspiring and ambitious cartoonist/illustrator/animator by the name of Jonos (his illustrations are neat and cool giler! I loike!), sparked off ideas for another exhibition, due tak lama lagi, God Willing!

    The crowd wasn’t that great due to the location of the exhibition and the lack of, I feel, proper and visible signages. But with limited budget, the effort was highly admirable and commendable, well done to Sonia Randhawa and the team!!! More to come, we hope!!!

    Out of the crowd, we got a mixed of Abang’s fans and those who never knew Abang existed; those who were so aware of the limitations of press freedom in the country, and surprisingly those who thot we’re doing a-okay when it comes to fair media coverage and reporting…imagine that!!!

    I reckon, setiap kali ada election, Sonia and team SHOULD take the opportunity to run these kind of exhibitions to educate people further… especially kat ulu-ulu nun.

    Anyhow, photos of exhibitions can be found here and here. Those photos were all from my camera taken by both Jonos & I, anyways. So, Jonos, kita kongsi-kongsi site bleh??? Heh heh.

    ps:
    Sila lah pergi juga ke Kak Dina’s I Am Muslim II. Cerita-cerita by contributors, sangaaaaat menarik. Best betul.

    And oh ya, dah checkout Anne punya cupcakes? Comel sungguh!

    f~

    Monday, May 07, 2007

    Ori Jap Porn Name

    Kalau I berlakon filem blue, based on my IC name, my porn star name would be...
    Sweetest Sin
    Suwwwwweeet!

    And based on the above, my Original Japanese porn star Name pula would be...

    Setsuko Gushiken

    Ooooooh, srap me seerry and call me Setsuko, preaase!!!
    (Slap me silly and call me Setsuko, please)

    Ok, Abang pulak.

    Kalau Abang berlakon filem blue Jepun, based on his public name, his Original Japanese porn star Name would be...

    Baiko Abukara

    ...and that's from his English porn star name, which is...

    Big Al Rod

    Meeeeeeeiooowwww.....! *grins* haha!

    So,
    What's Your Porn Star Name?

    and

    Take The Original Japanese Name Generator by Shu today!
    (Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator).

    f~

    Saturday, May 05, 2007

    My Current Love Story: Intro

    To be fair, I will be writing about my love story with Abang pula very very soon.

    Atas permintaan Tok Rimau sebulan yang lepas sebenarnya, him being Abang's long-time fan.

    Abang told me, yes I may write about our love story, tapi kena kasi dia baca dulu. He doesn't like being revealed too much, for fear of being ridiculed by his friends and fans for having that softer side of him, I presume. Ye la, Aktivis Reformasi, tapi ada masa nak berjiwang pulak... hehehehehe.

    So much about Press Freedom, eh Abang??? heh heh

    My deadline: 15th May. That's Abang's Birthday.

    So, watch out for this space!!!

    From the last lines of "Mukhsin":

    ...We don’t always find the one we carry inside us
    But Love is kind
    He gives us second chances.

    I found mine,
    I hope 'Mukhsin' found his too..."


    f~

    Naik Naik Naik

    The Star dah naik, dari RM1.20 jadi RM1.50.

    Astro nak naik 15% next month.

    Tariff semua dah naik.

    Tol memang akan sentiasa makin naik.

    Minyak kereta dan minyak masak pun naik.

    Badan aku pun makin naik.

    Sama naik dengan darah aku.

    Tapi, gaji aku yang nak dinaikkan oleh Cuepacs pun, Si Bibir Merah berdalih macam-macam. Tapi dalam masa dua minggu 2 minggu lepas, RM100juta lebih boleh dengan selambanya dikeluarkan. Dan dalam 0.00001% yang dikeluarkan tu, aku pasti, adalah duit AKU. Dan KAU. Dan KAU, KAU, KAU dan KAU.

    Hmm.

    Pangkah la lagi, pangkah.

    f~

    Thursday, May 03, 2007

    My First Love

    Today, the 3rd of May 2007, is my First Love's akadnikah.

    As much as I've tried getting inspiration from Mukhsin to document my own experience, for me it's still not a straightforward and painless excercise eventhough (almost exactly) seven years have passed. Especially so when you're now married and your husband drops by to read your blog every so often.

    The First Love, who was my best mate and soulmate of 7 years of close but platonic friendship, left me after 2 years of serious courtship and 6 months of engagement, which was 4 months down the road to our Big Day. That's 9 1/2 years of very very very close relationship.

    Aku kenal Abang pun masih tak selama itu. What I'm having now with Abang pun masih tak boleh lawan with the amount of dreams and plans and memories and letters and songs and videos and movies and poems and keepsakes and photos I had with the First Love. There are way too many of them, and I still keep them all in boxes at my parent's home.

    I remember the first time he "approached" me. It was summer of '97, both of us in Malaysia. I was driving him back home after an outing at the movies. I told him about my break-up with my then Singaporean boyfriend. He just kept quiet about it, and suddenly said, "Buat apa awak cari jauh-jauh... yang kat depan mata kan dah ada?", and then he looked at me for approval. I looked back at him, laughing my head away, and said, "Awak ni, betul ke???". And he, unperturbed, replied, "...sungguh."

    And then I had to go back to the UK for my post-grad, and leave him in M'sia, stuck in the rut among the bad recession. It took me some 5 months to think over his "proposal". It was on his birthday in Mid-November that I agreed to get serious with him. And then it took me another two days to be able to call him back in M'sia and balas verbally his "I Love You". Heh, dia tergolek kesukaan, I remember that.

    Oh those were the fine ol' days of first love...

    We had way so many fullmoon-memories together, eversince our MRSM days. The fullmoon has been the one thing we hold on to since we were friends at 17; he thinks of me whenever he sees the moon (because he knows I'm crazy over the fullmoon), and I him. He sms-ed me on fullmoon nights, sometimes. The last being yesterday. His text only says "bulan". And I said, "yes, since Sunday night".

    We practically "grew up" together... from 17 till 27. I went to ALL of his graduations ~ Form 5 graduation, A-Levels graduation, NCUK graduation, University graduation. We had anniversaries of just about anything and everything. There were no one else in each other's hearts except each other.

    Whenever he smells Body Shop's "Fuzzy Peach", he'll think of me. And I could spot someone with Jean Paul Gaultier's a mile away and automatically think of him.

    We love the theaters, the international movies, the thinking-films. We SO love Yasmin Ahmad's films. We love spending time in bookstores, we love reading over cups of coffee.

    We have similar handwritings; similar fingers and fingernails.

    We had the strongest telepathy over each other ever. We used to call it, "tele-pathetic".

    He used to tell me that I overwhelmed him all the time, for all the thots, prezzies, poems and such. And he used to impress me with his writings that I love reading. I still keep all his letters and most of his emails.

    In short, what we had had the likeness of Mukhsin&Orked. Our affection & fondness towards each other was inexplicably so very deep and intense, no one could understand why it was very hard for us to let go of "us". Even after all those years.

    And then, not seeing it coming at all, he dropped the bomb. It was on a Tuesday, 9th May 2000. The day that changed me and my life.

    I don't know about him, but I cried for him for Four Long Years; and between that, we almost got back together on a couple of occasions, but I had to stick to the fact that my equally-hurt parents may not easily forget how hurt I was when he left. That fact alone, I know, would make neither of us happy ever after.

    All this said, I still feel the need to tread over the matter really carefully and not take Abang's lax feelings over the matter for granted.

    Abang has been very very very supportive, though. I told Abang I cannot at all explain neither to him nor to myself of the tears over the impending (akadnikah)occasion. But Abang explained to me that it's only natural that when one has very deep emotional connection over each other for a very very long time, it's never easy to let go walaupun kita tahu that even given the chance now, the First Love would not be the First Choice.

    Itu lah kelebihannya berkahwin dengan orang yang jauh lebih matang, I find. I would be dead jealous if it would be him who's crying over his First Love. Tapi, bagi Abang, perkara ni terlalu remeh untuk dicemburukan. For him, kalau cemburu pun, tak dapat pulangan apa. Might as well he gives more love and support so that I could have easier time mending whatever I still have to mend so that in return I could love My Husband even more. Ibarat tarik rambut di tepung.

    But, you know, just like my First Love's (step)Mak, the famously known Mak Mah, told him: "Itulah Allah."

    Everything happens for a reason. As much as I was heartbroken, as I grow older and wiser, I know he wouldn't be strong enough to stand the kerenah and complexities of my family as Abang has splendidly been.

    I know his past would probably catch-up on both of us and finally eating us up.

    I know his jihad is fairly straightforward and clear-cut while mine more complicated.

    And with just that, I just know that Abang is the Godsent in my life just now.

    Nevertheless...

    Selamat Pengantin Baru, Yussof dan Shuhaiella.

    Semoga panjang jodoh, murah rezki dan dikurniakan ramai anak seperti yang diimpikan. We'll see you on your bersanding day on the 10th of June, insyaAllah.

    And my love too to your ever warm and wonderful clans who never fail to extend their love to me with the warmest of reception and big huge hugs and kisses, up till now.

    f~

    Azan and Blues

    Tadi ada terbaca a very interesting entry from Ku Keng about "Azan Dalam Azan". Ada link about the possible roots of the U.S Blues that may be connected to the Azan, or Muslim's calling of prayers.

    Siap ada audio lagi. You'd be surprised on the similarities. Do read.

    f~

    Tuesday, May 01, 2007

    Abdullah-Ramlah 1st Family Gathering

    I had a family day gathering in P.D on that Ijok voting day. Went there only with Sherli ~ UmiAyah baru sampai dari umrah the day before, Farhi ada hal, Udi kat U.K, and Abang di Ijok.

    It was the first gathering for the Abdullah-Ramlah clans. Abdullah and Ramlah are my paternal gramps i.e my dad's parents. Atuk Dollah (Abdullah) passed away in 1990, while Nenek Labu (Ramlah) passed away way back in 1978, I think.

    My dad has a big huge family:­ 17 siblings. 3 died when they were babies, so, there are 14 of them left. The idea for this gathering came about during one small gathering at my aunt Induk Abie's place, sometime around earlier in the year. They just lost one sister to breast cancer (Endek Akam), and my grown-up cousins, especially Endek Akam's kids, thought that it's a swell idea to get everyone together.

    At Endek Akam's 100-Day kenduri, the announcement was made, and from thereon all the AJKs were full steam ahead.

    I wasn't part of the AJK, naturally. Transportation & time-wise­ manyak susah wo.

    We had the gathering at Kayns Resort, P.D. Aiyoh..­. Fun fun fun lah!!! So many cousins and nieces and nephews yang either aku dah lama tak jumpa and they're all so grown up now and even those I've never met since they were born!

    My youngest uncle, Pak Mat, even made scrolls of Family Tree­. All in all, we have a total of 147 among us. So very many juga ya?

    Our grown-up cousins ordered welcoming buntings and banner, also t-shirts and caps bearing "AR" for Abdullah-Ramlah. Anak-anak & menantu pakai t-shirt beige-black; cucu-cucu pakai t-shirt orange-black; cicit-cicit pakai t-shirt yellow-black. Neat, huh???

    We had games that Saturday evening (I volunteered in the tarik tali­. TAUBAT tak moh masuk lagi without proper warm-ups! I almost passed-out soon after, and the whole of my being ached like hell for 2 long days!), karaoke session that night (OF COURSE akak menyanyi, kan. Lagu Seiring Dan Sejalan, gitu. Budak-budak punya la suka lagu tu, especially part "Lalll-lalalalalalalllaaaa"), usrah Subuh on Sunday subuh, and time in the pool the whole morning before checking out that noon.

    I just wished my husband was around that time (he was in Ijok), and especially so my parents. Celi&I were the only two without parents there.

    Tak tahu lah sampai bila akan terpaksa jadi "bridge" between my dad and his siblings. I'm just glad and happy that my siblings & I are never being looked down by my aunts, uncles and the elderly cousins. Or, if they ever did, they did a great job by not showing it infront of us.

    I don't know about Celi, but I had fun fun fun!!! My cousins Abg Zizi The President, Cik Ya, Abg Mi, Kak Lang, Abg Zila etc and my aunts and uncles Pak Mat & Induk Milah, Pak Maer & Induk Midah, Pak Kirin & Induk Yatie etc did really a grrrrreaaaaaaaaaatttt job. The rest of the clans pula were all easy-going and tak membawa masalah, that's what so damn great about the gathering. Semua satu kepala.

    Their warmth touched me & sis to my very core. Tak faham kenapa Ayah berdegil & nak bertekak selalu dengan semua. But I've promised myself that for the next gathering, I want to try volunteer to contribute something, b'coz, you know, blood will always, always be thicker than water.

    f~
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