Very, very frustrating. You feel very trapped, like you’ve nowhere to go but to hide under the covers and cry and sulk and sleep till everything’s back alright again. No amount of money or material gains could buy off you.
You feel like taking those panadols or uphamols just a wee bit over the top, hoping that the feeling could be washed away. They are PAINkillers - they’re suppose to kill off any pains, no???
You feel ugly inside out. You feel pretty suicidal. You badly need validation from other people, or else you feel like you’re nothing. You keep thinking, hell, what am I really good at here? You badly need to feel needed, beautiful, special. And the slightest off-tangent remark or action would send you crying for hours or even for days.
You keep asking God for answers, but He keeps saying “Wait, ‘coz I’ll give you The Best in My own time.” Allahu a’lam.
And that, people, is partly how it feels like whenever those bouts of very low self-esteem strikes you.