... I wished I could dedicate the song to you.
No, no. Lemme rephrase that.
I wished I could dedicate the song to you, and you would understand it. Understand how much pain you've caused us all throughout the years.
I wished I could make you understand it all, and just to have that glimmer of guilt in your eyes would suffice for us to know that you'd understand, but I know you wouldn't.
I wished all the world's love you've showered on us could conceal the angst you brought to us, but it ain't.
I pray that Allah would finally bestow upon you enough light for you to see our anguish pain and wound.
Thirty-six years out of your fifty-nine is one too many years for you to be You. I pray that soon there would be the New You. One that we hoped and wished and dreamed for all our lives.
I wished you could see the hurtful & tearful me, your allegedly Most Beloved and Treasured. Yes, yes, I've tried not to be bitter, 'coz you're the only one I have in the whole entire universe. Tried my best. But I couldn't. And at times, you make me want to give-up. Everything.
Yes, you've never seen me that weak, to want to give up the world. Coz I never showed you how messed up we all are. Coz there's no point to. Coz you'd never see them the way we want you to see them. Coz you just plainly won't...
Ya Allah, please guide him further into Your blessed light, at least well before his kingdom come. Aaaa-miin.
With much love,
A*n & Z*r